How to Fill your Acme Klein Bottle

Filling instructions for your Acme Klein Bottle:

I suggest keeping your Klein Bottle dry, mainly because
it’s hard to clean once wet. But if you want to explore hydrodynamics of
onesided containers, here’s a few hints.

Don’t just pour water into your Acme Klein Bottle — the
water will fill the sidearm and then vapor lock.

Instead, hold your bottle horizontally under water in a
basin, bucket, or sink. Rotate it around its main axis; with each
rotation, some air will bubble out. Once filled, add a drop of food
coloring.

You can (but don’t have to) seal your filled Klein Bottle
with a cork. For Acme’s Classical and Bottom-Mouthed Erlenmeyer Klein
Bottles, use Acme Cork part #713-9b, $350. These corks are also
available for free at most good Italian restaurants.

We do not yet manufacture corks for the top
mouthed Klein Bottles, half-pints, and real little Klein Bottles. As
soon as our Bonsai Cork Tree matures, we will let you
know.

How to dry your Klein Bottle

Once you’ve filled your Klein Bottle with water, you may
wish to dry it out. There’s not much natural air circulation, so it’ll
take weeks for it to dry out on its own.Several ways to speed this up,
you might wish to use a combination of these:

• Acme’s glass Klein Bottles won’t break if heated in
  your oven to about 125 degrees Celsius (250 degrees F). So just leave
  it in your low to medium temperature oven for an hour.
• You can also try your microwave – although it may not
  heat the water droplets.
• Rinse the bottle with a few cc’s of denatured alcohol
  or acetone – this will wash out the water and replace it with a fluid
  that evaporates much faster
• Use an aquarium pump and hose to blow air into the
  Klein Bottle. This will dry it out quite fast.
• Expose the water (but not the glass) to a beam of pure antimater.

To clean your Klein Bottle

I suggest swishing around a small amount of Windex or alcohol. Use Vodka
for a Klein Stein.  For tough marks on the “inside” (which, of
course, is the same as the “outside”), use a pair of small flat rare-earth
magnets, each wrapped with soft velcro or cotton, and wet with Windex.

Keeping one magnet on the “outside” (which, of course is the same
as the “inside”) and one on the “inside” (which, of course is the
same as the “outside”), you can scrub both sides of the glass at
once. Since both sides are really the same side, so you’re really
scrubbing two sections of the same side — a nice labor-saving method
that also works on Moebius Loop Conveyor Belts.

Go to Acme’s Home Page

For those who cannot spell, this link will take
you to a different
spelling of Klein Bottle (not
recommended,
since it is boring)