Acme’s Wine Bottle Klein Bottle

Acme’s Wine Bottle Klein Bottle

After 5 years of experimentation, I’m delighted to offer
the Acme Klein Bottle Wine Bottle.

Yes, you can store wine in it, and pour wine into and out
of it. But no, it’s not very practical as a wine carafe.

-note the two styles: long handled ($123) and short
handled ($117).

The chimerical Wine Bottle Klein Bottle is now reality! As impractical as
it is elegant.

The Wine Bottle Klein Bottle is difficult to fill with wine, because of
vapor-lock. As you pour water (or wine) into it, there’s no place for the
air to go. So the wine is trying to go down while the air is trying to go
up the spout. Result is slow filling. Pouring wine out is equally
frustrating.

I’ve made the Wine Bottle Klein Bottle in two different shapes. The
long-handle is shown here.

Not only are these difficult to fill and empty, but cleaning them is a
real challenge. Since there’s little air circulation within the Klein
Bottle, moisture doesn’t evaporate. Worse, you can’t reach in with a
towel. So you’ll need to dry the interior surface using alcohol. I’ve had
good luck with a pair of small magnets wrapped in cotton cloth.

I’ve designed these to balance with or without contents. However, they’re
easy to tip over, especially when empty.

Again, these are about the most impractical Wine Bottle / Caraffes ever
made. But what’s life with only utility and efficacy? Living without
spontaneity, risk and danger? Besides, what else costs under 110 clams?

photos below shows the short-handled variety:

The short handled Wine Bottle Klein Bottle :

notice the handworked glass pouring spout!

First, this isn’t the most practical wine bottle.
In fact, I recommend that you don’t use it for wine, water, or
any liquid, because once you put liquid inside, it’s hard to get
out. And it’s even harder to clean and dry the “inside”.

Despite its limited utility, this is a real 3-D
immersed Klein Bottle.Think of this as a
mathematical shape which comes close to a wine carafe.

Guaranteed to frustrate even the most dedicated
wine connoisseur: it’s difficult to fill, difficult to pour, and
difficult to clean.

I’ve made 2 styles – a short handle and a long
handle. Both represent formidable glassblowing – it’s a
challenge to get the curves just right, and the welding around
the mouth requires exacting torchwork. (The pour-spout is
especially hard to do) I’ve made several dozen of these –
they’re not easy!

(I showed my first experimental model at the 2006 TED conference – after 5 years of
experiments and refinements, I’ve made these two versions.)

For optimal aerodynamic
performance, your Wine Bottle Klein Bottle has smooth,
spline-like curves. You can take advantage of this lustrous
continuity to differentiate this manifold everywhere! Tested by
simulated undergraduates and fully covered by Acme’s Unconditional
Guarantee.

It’s best considered more of a Klein Bottle and
less of a Wine Bottle.

This limited utility, rustproof, borosilicate
zerovolume manifold can be yours for a mere $123… noticeably
less than the cost of a Napa Valley vineyard!

Or enjoy the frustration of a short-handle
Wine-Bottle-Klein-Bottle for just $117:

• – Height 210mm (8 inches)
• – Diameter 120 mm (5 inches)
• – Weight: 275gm (10 oz)
• – Displacement 1.2 liters (40 fl ounces)
• – Actual volume 0.0 ml (0 fl ounces)
• – Includes calibration decal

   

Like ACME’s other fine Klein Bottles, this is handcrafted from
pure Borosilicate Glass … Pyrex, Kimax, Bomex, or Simax. It has
a bulk density: 2.23 gm/cm3 and expands just 0.000326% per degree
C. This means that it’ll shrink only a few microns when you trek
from Tucson to Nome. Nor should you worry about it dissolving —
we’ve tested samples in water, acetone, methyl-ethyl-ketone, maple
syrup, and jello.

Go to Acme’s Home
Page, home to plenty of one-sided Klein Bottles

The last time that Cliff changed this page was May 2nd, 2022.